“Broken down in tears mid-drive, ambushed by a stray thought that came out of nowhere.”
Yep. That happened.
But it also has something I have been deliberately practising.
Let me explain.
Thousands of years ago, there was a chap called Seneca.
He famously once said…
“Rehearse them in your mind: exile, torture, war, shipwreck. All the terms of our human lot should be before our eyes.”
He wasn’t being dramatic. He was being practical.
His point?
If you know storms are coming, don’t be surprised when it rains.
Another Stoic, Euripides, put it more bluntly:
“Foolish is the person who delights in their good fortune, supposing it will never leave them.”
These ancient philosophers weren’t trying to depress us.
They were preparing us.
Not for disaster.
But for resilience.
Life Is Random. Our Response Doesn’t Have to Be.
The modern world sells us an illusion: that we can control everything.
Our goals. Our careers. Our bodies. Our kids. Even our emotions.
But when chaos hits — the phone call, the diagnosis, the breakup, the loss — we realise the truth:
We are not in control. We never were.
So maybe life is really about this idea:
“We don’t control what happens. We control how we respond.”
We don’t get to choose when grief shows up. Or what thought ambushes us mid-drive. Or when the rug gets ripped out from under us.
But we do get to choose what happens next.
The Power of Negative Visualisation:
You don’t need to be a philosopher or monk to practise this. Just a quiet moment — on a walk, during a commute, or while the kettle’s boiling.
This was a simple practice that the Stoics worked on.
It sounds grim, but it is very powerful.
Here is the practice:
Close your eyes for a few minutes and visualise a personal tragedy. Really go there to something that matters to you. Let the thoughts and emotions rise and be with them.
Here are some negative visualisation ideas 🙂
- Your dog gets sick.
- Your marriage ends.
- Your business folds.
- Your best friend cuts contact.
You are not manifesting these, but you are reminding yourself:
When the shock comes, you could survive it.
Building Your Mental Armour
Those moments I broke down mid-drive? I was picturing the funerals of the people I love most. Reading their eulogies. Feeling the heartbreak before it ever arrived.
It sounds brutal. But it gave me something I didn’t expect: Presence. When I’m with them now, I really see them. I hold eye contact a little longer. I listen more closely. I let the small stuff slide.
Then, of course, after a few weeks, it slides. I am back to taking things for granted.
Cue the fun times, it could be time to practice this again.
Negative visualisation isn’t something I do every day. But when I do, it’s as powerful as any vision board or goal list. Because it reminds me what actually matters.
So if this week feels busy, blurry, or too much. Pause. Imagine the loss. Then return. And notice how sweet everything suddenly feels.
The Most Beautiful Game 