Confidence

Last week, I got conned.
Not in some shady back alley.
But over the phone.

The call came out of nowhere.
“Your bank account has been breached,” he said.

And the strange thing? He knew everything.
Our full names. The right bank. Recent transactions…

He spoke like he’d just stepped out of a lecture at Oxford Business School.
Polished. Measured. Reassuringly confident.

The kind of voice that makes you think:
“This man knows what he’s doing. I’d trust him with my life.”

Turns out, I shouldn’t have.

Minutes later, £80 disappeared from my account.
And if I hadn’t caught it quickly?
There were three more attempts lined up — each for over £500!

It rattled me, to be honest.
Because I’m usually good at spotting these things.
But not this time.

Over the course of the last week, I’ve spent time with this man’s voice inside my head — and just how good he was.
So refined. So well-spoken. So confident.

But then, as I sat with the emotions a bit longer, I came closer to the truth:

What he had was fake confidence.
The performance of certainty.
The mask of trustworthiness.
And underneath it?
Nothing. Just manipulation, ego, and rehearsed charm.

What a waste.

The Lesson It Left Me With

Confidence isn’t how loud or smooth someone talks.
It’s not a polished pitch. Or perfect timing.
It’s not being the smartest person in the room.

It runs deeper.

Confidence is your track record.
It’s the quiet, daily evidence:
I say I’ll do something. Then I do it. And I keep doing it.

Confidence is trust in yourself.

Psychologists call this self-integrity.
The more you honour your word — especially the private promises no one sees — the more your self-trust grows.
And self-trust is the core of confidence.

Self-doubt, the opposite of confidence, often comes from self-betrayal.
You said you’d go for a walk. You didn’t.
You said you’d stop scrolling. You kept going.
You said you’d get the hard task done. You chose an easier choice.

Each broken promise quietly tells your brain:
“You can’t count on me.”

But the opposite is also true.
Do the thing — especially when it’s hard or unglamorous — and you build confidence.

And when done consistently, they make you unshakable. Like a brick wall.

Because that inner voice carries a weight of deep trust in yourself.

Why This Hit Me Personally

The guy who conned us?
He had every quality and skill set to appear confident.

But he was empty — no weight behind his words.

And you know what really stuck with me?
It reminded me how important it is that we don’t fall into that trap ourselves.

Because false confidence is addictive.
You can fake it on Instagram.
You can bluff it in meetings.
You can sip wine and give TED Talk advice to your friends…

But if you’re breaking your own promises behind the scenes?
There’s a cost.
And that cost is your self-belief.