I would lie all the time:
To myself,
To my friends,
To my partner,
And to my family.
During this time, I was at my lowest.
White lies were my favourite.
The small, seemingly insignificant ones you think do no harm.
- “You look great in that outfit!” (Really did not like it).
- “This is the best homemade cookie I’ve ever had!” (It wasn’t).
- “That sounds really interesting!” (Couldn’t be less interested).
- “I can’t make it tonight; I have other plans.” (Had no plans).
- “I’m not upset; it’s okay.” (I was so hurt inside).
- “Of course, I remember you!” (I have no idea who you are).
- “I’d love to help you move this weekend!” (Couldn’t think of anything worse).
- “I didn’t hear my phone ring.” (I chose to ignore you).
There are all sorts of lies, though. Here are some more:
Blatant Lies
Definition: Obvious and outright lies, where the truth is starkly different from the lie.
Example: Denying involvement in an event when there’s clear evidence to the contrary.
Fabrications
Definition: Lies that are completely made up, often involving elaborate details and stories.
Example: Creating a fictional backstory about one’s achievements.
Deception
Definition: Lies intended to mislead or trick someone.
Example: Giving someone the wrong directions intentionally.
Exaggerations
Definition: Lies that involve stretching the truth or embellishing facts.
Example: Claiming to have read more books than one actually has.
Minimisations
Definition: Lies that downplay the severity or significance of something.
Example: Underreporting the cost of a purchase to avoid conflict.
Lies of Omission
Definition: Leaving out crucial information, leading to a false impression.
Example: Not mentioning a significant detail in a story that changes its overall meaning.
Misleading Statements
Definition: Statements that aren’t outright lies but are intended to lead someone to a false conclusion.
Example: Using vague language to imply something untrue.
Pathological Lies
Definition: Habitual or compulsive lying, often without clear motive or benefit.
Example: Consistently lying about everyday events and facts.
Paternalistic Lies
Definition: Lies told with the belief that they are for the good of the person being lied to.
Example: Lying about a terminal diagnosis to keep a patient hopeful.
Noble Lies
Definition: Lies told to maintain social harmony or avoid societal disruption.
Example: Authorities lying about a potential crisis to prevent mass panic.
Contextual Lies
Definition: Lies that are considered acceptable or expected in certain contexts or cultures.
Example: Diplomatic lies or lies told in the context of a game or fiction.
Defensive Lies
Definition: Lies told to protect oneself from blame or harm.
Example: Lying about one’s whereabouts to avoid punishment.
Delusional Lies
Definition: Lies that the liar believes to be true, often due to mental health issues.
Example: A person with a delusional disorder fabricating events they think happened.
Each type of lie can have different motivations and consequences.
Lying and this dishonest self-nature become like a ball and chain, a weight that grows heavier over time.
Lying breaks the connection to yourself and others. Facts or truths require no further effort on our part, while lies must be continually shielded from collision with reality.
Lies are like shadows, always sneaking up behind you.
“Lying, almost by definition, is a refusal to cooperate with others. It condenses a lack of trust and trustworthiness into a single act. It is both a failure of understanding and an unwillingness to be understood.”
By lying, we deny others a view of the world as it is. Our dishonesty not only influences the choices they make but often determines the choices they can make—and in ways we cannot always predict. Every lie is a direct assault upon the autonomy of those we lie to.” – Sam Harris
Honest people are comforting.
Honesty is a gift we can give to others. It is also a source of power and an engine of simplicity.
You know they mean what they say; you know they will not say one thing to your face and another behind your back; you know they will tell you when they think you have failed—and for this reason, their praise cannot be mistaken for mere flattery.
To lie is to intentionally mislead others when they expect honest communication.
Lies are the social equivalent of toxic waste: everyone is potentially harmed by their spread.
Confidence
“The biggest thing about confidence is that it should be based on fact, i.e., you have already done it before.”
I love this quote. It is a quote taken from my interview with Dave Alred (found here).
Lying and confidence go hand in hand.
The opposite of confidence is lying.
You are a pretender.
You try to fake it till you make it.
You look for shortcuts and fast tracks.
You don’t put in the extra rep.
You fail to turn up when you said you would.
I believe confidence comes from a deep connection with yourself,
Mainly, your voice and your throat chakra.
You physically say something to yourself that you are going to do, and you either do it or break that promise to yourself.
Going after something and saying to yourself, “That is what I’m going to do,” and actually doing it—well, that is confidence. A bucket load of courage.
You are true to your word.
This is where you get to hold your chin high.
This is where confidence comes from.
You put yourself and your neck on the line and did what you said you were going to do.
And if anyone tells you that you were lucky,
Volume neglects luck.
You can either tell them you found it in the dirt,
Or tell them you were actually lucky.
The Most Beautiful Game 